


We crash into each other, just so we can feel again

by romancingatincan



Category: Captain Marvel (Comics), Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-31
Updated: 2012-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-17 11:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romancingatincan/pseuds/romancingatincan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life in the Air Force is not pretty and Jim Rhodes reflects on how a chance meeting with Carol Danvers gives him a opportunity to feel again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We crash into each other, just so we can feel again

**Author's Note:**

> MCU and 616 collide? 
> 
> Title taken from the film Crash (2004)

Constantly risking your life makes you start to lose touch of what makes you human. When you are in a plane there is no time to feel, no time to really think about what is happening. In seconds you can kill off a generation. Each body count comes with an extra dozen or ten of grieving loved ones. You don't think about that when you're flying. You just fucking can't. If you make a mistake it's your life on the line, and your loved ones that are going to miss you.

When flying you remember your sister is already gone and you are already broken. But your momma can't lose you too because that uncle of yours can't really do much for her, can he? You have your boys on your squad. You remember how it felt to lose Stevie, and how they'd feel the same if you take a hit. There's your best friend that will throw himself on the biggest bender if you snuff it, because he is already a mess. That pretty new assistant is his will have to pick up the pieces of what's left of him, and how does an innocent bundle of ginger hair and bright eyes deserve that? Your mom, your boys, your best mate. You can't let them down so you turn off and you shoot for your life. 

You're a robot when in a fighter, and you can't seem to shake it off when you aren't in one.

Later, out of the cock pit, everyone acts like there is something worth celebrating.  

_You did well Jim, but where is your heart?_   

Why do you feel like you should never move again? Yet with hollow steps, you walk. You walk to no where and that is when you see her. You know her name and you know she is a fair few years younger than you as well as a few ranks below. She's oddly golden in all this grey metal mess of a base, and you can't look away.

A girl on a flight squad is rare. She's a weave of beauty in an ugly profession. She's also new, but you remember she flies like she should be a bird and she punched Manny so hard he cried for two hours. You remember telling your General she wouldn't last, because she was too goddamn pretty for all of this. You don't want her to stay because if she does she'll end up hollow too. It's another hit on your list. Another life you've let be taken and all her grieving loved ones will be on your shoulders too.

Back in the present, you've been staring. She's noticed too. You know that because she is walking over to you, all legs and messy hair that seems brighter than the sun. Her face however is empty and you realise that she is already like you. You'll later hear from her about her father who sounds like the second biggest bag of dicks that's ever existed. You'll remember that she lost her brother like you lost your sister and what makes it worse is that you lost him too. 

You are both broken souls that have to play dead in the air, but when your hand bumps hers, when her own rests a little too high on your thigh, you suddenly remember what its like to feel something. 

It won't be the first time that you attempt to memorise her body like it's a flight plan. Or at least you hope not because she’s achingly sensitive, coming alive in shivers with every touch of a calloused finger, a brush of too chapped lips, and you're rather enjoying that her blush goes all the way down, and that it’s yours to tour.

She flips you at one point, grinning and murmuring that you've done enough exploring. She is as much of a rush as you were, but not so gentle. You only end her game by jokingly calling her  _sir,_ after which she freezes and flusters. As you take the lead again you store that in your mind as something to use against her next time. It's just pure physical contact whilst it lasts, but the rest of the night is spent gripping onto each other for dear life, because when you let go you'll both feel dead again.  

You're the War Machine and she's the War Bird and you are crashing into each other to feel in this world where it is your job to kill. 


End file.
